what may or may not be hard reality

I'm about 5 minutes into last night's episode, and already I'm freaking out. I yawned over the re-cap of last season (surprisingly I remembered most of it), *squee*d and giggled over the intro (I know I didn't like it at first, but now I associate it so strongly with new episodes it has me all excited... although I wish there was a cha-cha-cha at the end), and then a minute into the first scene that lady is looking at Bette and Tina with a very disturbing look, and I know something awkward is about to happen, and I hate awkward, and am once again reminded why I always *always* save the episodes until there are proper recaps online so I can prepare myself. *shudder*

That said, mmmm, they're gorgeous! And Angelica is so adorable!

Seriously. Every scene has me completely freked out because I HATE AWKWARD, and this fucking show THRIVES ON AWKWARD!

And I love LOVE *love* Helena, but Helena in jail? Again with the awkward. Show, why are you doing this to me?

And Phyllis and Alice and sex, and *whine* with the awkward. Thank goddess for the mute button.

I don't really like Paige. But I dislike their realtor even more. Ick. Clearly out to make trouble.

And where Max goes, awkward tends to follow. So far, with his 3 lines, I like him a whole lot better than I ever did before, though, and Alice is an ass.

Bette's comment about Jenny not being *nearly* far enough away. Best. Comment. Ever.

Good on Shane, yeah! (But seriously, with Jared in the next room? Come on!) (Not that there aren't thousands of girls I'd pick over realtor chick for a quickie in the apartment I'm buying with my girlfriend...)

Tina/Jenny board room scene - skip!

Tina/Jenny kitchen scene - skip!

Bette/Tina pool scene... ooooh. Hot. Angelica is cute, but I never really found Tina hot before (mostly because she's been annoying for the last 2 seasons), but oooh, that's an awesone scene.

And Shane hitting on women in jail? So. Fucking. Awesome! Poor Helena. Totally agree with Tina, though, for being in jail she does look absolutely gorgeous. Then again, Rachel Shelley always does. *swoon*

And Alice/Tina/Shane at the party? (And that woman they're checking out? Seriously hot! Right up my alley kind of woman...) Between the jail scene and this one, Shane looks happier than she did in the entire last season. Hmm...

Jenny's assistant quit! Good for you, Jenny's Assistant!! Your life will be so much better if you lead it far far away from Ms. Schecter.

Seriously, Phyllis? Now you're gonna dump Joyce?? Don't. Moron. Joyce is awesome. I realize this is all new for you, and you're not used to actually getting to make a choice about who you're gonna be with, but just because she's only your second doesn't mean she's wrong either...

Argh. I love Bette/Jodi, and especially together, but these two have *way* too many issues... seriously, I don't think Bette was being a control freak by, what did she do again? Did she put a table cloth on the table, or did she bring the whole table?, I can hear most of what Marlee says, but not quite all, and my ASL is terribly limited. (But not understanding everything is SO totally to prefer over that thing in Children of a Lesser God where that dude repeats every single word she signs. Blech.)

They are just actors. All this is scripted. *deep breath*

(that's probably why I could never watch reality shows, because above mantra is the only way I can get through most shows...)

Oooooh, the Bette-in-a-blindfold scene... Hot.

Ouch. Poor Shane. But really? Why wouldn't she be pressing charges??? Like seriously, someone just torched her entire business. I assume we're supposed to think that she thinks that Paige did it, but seriously, even *more* reason to press charges. Sure, Paige might be hurt, but that's NO excuse to go burn down a fucking building. Seriously. If she did, I'd be inclined to call child services because she belongs in fucking prison with Helena, and not raising a kid. Argh!!!

Yay Tasha!!! She's home!! (I'm inclined to agree with Alice, though, she did do something crazy...)

Awesomest episode ending so far. Hot hot hot!!!!

In conclusion: pretty good first episode. Not a whole lot of anything happened, really, except the Shane/Paige thing. Nice to see all the girls again, though, under relatively calm circumstances. Looking forward to next week already!!!

However, even more than next week, I'm looking forward the the We're Getting Nowhere vlog!!!! IIIiiiiiiiii!!!! SO very awesome that they're gonna be talking about The L Word. A show I actually both watch, and care about, for a change. Not that they're not always hilarious, but this is even better...