SIS [what may or may not be hard reality]

Basically; the movie features the SIS team, a special force basically out to catch the super-baddies in the act, and kill them. Early on one of the SIS dudes is killed, and then this suicidal dude who doesn't have his shit together is recruited by the SIS lieutenant. Said suicidal dude is being sued by the family of a little girl he accidentally killed in a shoot out (she was hiding in a back seat, and he didn't see her). Said family has hired a lawyer, who in turn has hired Christina to spy on the dude, so they can get the dirt on him and evict him from the PD. Mayhem ensues.

Basically, the entire thing has certain conceptually confusing aspects. It didn't seem sure of what it wanted to be, and the police work was shoddy.

It has moments where its pseudo-dramatic piano-music that sounds like it's ripped off any 'based on a true story' LifeTime drama. Exchanged the next second for hard-ass action music, cops with life issues, and thugs with some sort of neanderthal mentality, basically raping, pillaging, and looting. Now, not being a criminal or a cop, nor having many acquaintances of either kind, I of course don't know the first thing about this, but from my naïve point of view, based mainly on what I've seen on TV so far, most criminals aren't all over the place like that. Jewel thiefs stick with jewels, general heisters stick with making various heists to get money and might be tied in with general assualts, and sexual offenders usually have a sexual goal and not a monetary one with their offences, but to have a gang that both serial rapes women related to people they wanna punish and then plans and executes complicated jewel thefts sounds... unlikely. Surely not impossible, but unlikely, and I get the feeling that the writers weren't going so much for reality, but rather tried to saddle the criminals with every horrendous deed they could think of to make them as bad-ass as possible. And then they mixed this with various tortured cops, one of whom kept talking to a girl who'd gotten caught in the crossfire and now her family was suing him for her death.

It's not a bad movie, as such, it's a nice enough hard-core action piece, it's just trying to do a little too many different things at once, and I could have lived with a little less gloating from the bad guys. And yes, I realize it was the set-up of a TV show, and I'm sure it could make a good TV show, but still, it tried to set up too many things at the same time. They could have saved some of it for the show. (Also, is it a TV show? Is it gonna be a TV show? Does anyone know?)

There were two funny moments in the movie, and I'm fairly sure the second one didn't intend to be funny. The first one wasn't very funny, but I can't think of another reason why they'd include it if they didn't want it to be funny.

Moment #1: Christina and the lawyer dude are walking out of the court room, and the lawyer throws himself to the ground, says something about a bad back and lies there twisting his legs while an entire group of cheerleaders walk around him in formation. It's totally ridiculous, but I assume they're trying to be funny, because, well, because it's dumb, and the rest of the movie doesn't appear to be going for dumb.

Moment #2: A Good Guy and a Bad Guy are struggling to gain control over a gun in an empty hallway, and while fighting they burst through these doors that go into some sort of storage room. Turns out the storage room is where everyone is hiding from the scary people with the guns, and so they start screaming and are trying to get the hell out of there. It made me giggle because it reminded me of that bank scene from D.E.B.S. where all the employees are gagged and stuffed into some storage closet.

If Christina hadn't been in it, my favourite character would definitely have been the little girl that dude killed, who keeps appearing with amusing remarks, and annoying him. She's spunky, and pretty cool. The thing I have to wonder, though, is if she's actually supposed to be a real spirit, because she warned him at the end, and he didn't get killed 'cause she appeared out of nowhere and yelled that he should watch out. Which she wouldn't have been able to do if she'd only been a figment of his imagination, because he didn't know someone was trying to shoot him from behind. She would make a good character for a tv show.

However, since Christina was in it, my favourite character is, of course, Roz, played by Christina. Who the hell Roz is, I have no idea. Things I know about her: She's being paid twice her normal rate to follow the suicidal dude around, and she worked Wilshire division with a cop named Hector García. That's all. Word on the ~~street~~ internet last year was that she was supposed to play some sort of investigative reporter, but aren't investigative reporters usually paid by newspapers and not by lawyers? And if García is a cop, wouldn't she be a cop if she were to work a divison with him? So is she a cop gone over the the dark side and taking some money on the side to spy on her own? Or is she a cop gone reporter who takes jobs spying on cops? Or is she a cop turned private investigator who takes any job? I'm confused, and the film did not see fit to educate me on the subject.

She's a pretty kick-ass character, though. She has a little whimpy moment at the beginning, but it gets better after that, and she gladly follows the cops around and gets herself smack in the middle of the finale fight. She has a tiny little gun, and I really liked her outfits (although not so much her stupid cap with the camera in it). She's basically a lot like Vicki Nelson, just without the funny and endearing qualities. She's mostly hard-ass, and she smiles once in the entire movie, for no particular reason. Other than that she spends most of her time sitting around in her car, looking hard. Which is, you know, hot. Very hot.

Things I learned: Christina is right-eyed. (Remembering when I was pondering this back in Jane Doe when she was suddenly shooting her rifle right-handed, and it had a sight thing... I imagine shooting a left-handed rifle with a sight is difficult if you're right-eyed because your face and the butt of the gun would be trying to occupy the same space... not that I've ever shot a rifle, so I wouldn't know (eta: but I checked this with my dad who is right-handed and left-eyed, and he said it sucked, but he had to learn to use his right eye for shooting because you twisted your neck half off otherwise, and still didn't get a good sight angle)... but I notice everything about her, from the first moment I... lies, lies, all lies. (although it's a sweet quote from my favourite ER fic))

Best Comeback:
Hostage Christina (see picture further down): "Oh, please man, don't shoot me!"
Cop Dude: "Then get out of the way."

*snicker*

Oh, oh. And I almost forgot to mention! Jill is in it! And if you don't remember Jill, it's Jill the Inez-shooter from Fastlane - 1x? - Strap On... the gay chick. No, the other gay chick. Yeah, her. She's a pretty hot lady, and she kicks a lot of ass, too. She's for some reason happily married, and with a kid at home, while all the dudes on the SIS team have tortured backgrounds, and presents with lots of issues. If this got turned into a TV series, I would definitely be pairing her with Christina, because that would be awesomely hot. Hmm... maybe I can work out some sort of sequel to this thing...

As far as I know, there aren't any pictures of Christina's appearance in this film floating around out there, so please don't post these anywhere else without asking first.

*chew, chew* This is like the most boring assignment ever.

Yep. Still boring.

Yadda, yadda, yadda...

The dude is boring! Not that I got close, or anything... I don't wanna get shot.

You're an idiot.

Mmm. Let me grind my teeth and mask what I think of you with a smile.

Wait, what? I'm so confused.

You're insane.

Get outta the way, lady!

I suck at this.

Three big bad-ass dudes with weapons, check. Twitchy chick with crazy look in her eyes and gas bombs, check. Two large rabid dogs, check. Yeah, seems like a good idea to follow them into this here jewellery store.

Hmm. You know, I could be wrong, of course, but I wonder if something might be going on here...

Don't shoot me, man.

This wasn't what I had in mind when I said I'd try to get out of the way... (it's a pretty cool throw over the railing, though!)

Help!! (What I wanna know is how she managed to move 2 meters to the left or right, and one rung down, while failing to both fall down or climb up...)