what may or may not be hard reality

So Jane Doe a decent action film, but so far (12 minutes in) it's got some of the dumbest stuff ever. I especially disapprove of the parking lot scene. It's a huge empty parking lot, but it's shot with really tight angles to give you a sense of urgency and also make you think that someone could at any time jump you. Tight angles make sense if you wanna scare someone who's walking down a narrow hallway with shadowy nooks and crannies, or through a forest in the middle of the night, but on a large empty parking lot in the middle of the day where you can see someone coming from hundreds of yards away? Stupid director.

Teri Hatcher plays the lead. And while she spends most of her time panicked out of her mind, she's still very pretty, and I like her hair colour. Having seen the movie all the way through now, it's not awful. I mean, it's got a thin plot, but whatever. It's action. Most action has thin plots.

Christina's first scene is awesome. She's a mysterious rifle-instructor named Peter with a half-seductive side. Well, the seductive thing is my interpretation. Maybe it's wistful thinking. :P And she's an awesome shooter. For some reason she shoots a right-handed (and right-eyed) rifle, though, whereas on Stargate Atlantis, First Wave and FX she shoots left-handed rifles. However, she might be a right-eyed shooter (although I'm not certain, the quality of my eps isn't good enough that I can tell), which might cause troubles if you're using a sight, which I haven't seen her do before. Do rifles have to be made differently to be shot left-handed or right-handed? (As we all know, I pay attention to the important stuff... mostly, I just really like watching her, awesome that she is.)

"I'm way beyond pissed. I'm *way* beyond pissed. I'M SUI-FUCKING-CIDAL!!" (What suicidal has to do with pissed off I'm not exactly sure, but Teri's delivery was awesome.)

Oh man. Well, the movie might be a tad sucky, but Teri's real cool, and OMG Christina is incredibly cool. Bit of a, uh, murderer with a sadistic streak, but I'm down with that. I generally don't approve of shooting or torturing people needlessly, but in her second scene when she makes a would-be rapist apologize for being a sadist and a misogynist while she shoots out both his palms and then his knee-caps and finally his head, gosh, she's hot. (Watch this scene further down, but beware that it might be disturbing.)

"I really don't like it when people swear on my mother."

"God, I really hate the C-word, don't you?"

And she's not evil. Well, she's totally evil, in an over-militant feminazi kinda way. She arrives at the last minute, saves Teri and her son (although mostly that's because the perp that took them hadn't paid her on time), and then Teri hires her and she's very cool. And the part where she threatens to hunt down, skin, and eat Rob Lowe if he lets anything happen to Teri? Awesome.

And maybe the best part of all? She survives!! Yay!! She's a totally expendable character, she saves them, she protects them, and she delivers them to Rob Lowe in one piece, where Teri pays her for a job well done and she drives off, just as the bad guys show up. Now, the bad guys could easily have blown up the truck with Christina in it just for the heck of it, but they don't. She drives off, and isn't seen again (and considering the fact that Rob Lowe is later killed, and it ends with Teri and the son on their own in Canada, that leaves it open for all kinds of awesome reunions at a later time... Mmmm, fanfic!).

eta: And I can't believe I forgot to mention her sexy SEXY accent!! I have no idea what it's supposed to be, she sounds just like Peta Wilson on some lines, who I believe is Australian, but other than that she sounds mostly like some sort of British. I suck at accents... and also, I don't care, because it's SEXY.

Hey! Where's my clip?? Stupid LJ, why can't you embed???

http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v64/fallon_ash/?action=view¤t=janedoe-christinacox2.flv