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I just posted an insanely long comment on AfterEllen, in response to a post that widely generalized gay men and lesbians, about the importance of recognizing that stereotypes do exist while not treating people according to stereotypes (I should say I don't think the poster did anything wrong, except maybe assuming that people understood the meaning of the phrase 'in general'...). I just reckoned I'd put enough thought into it to warrant posting it here as well. (It's written somewhat defensively, being in favour of stereotypes didn't feel like the popular opinion on that particular thread, which isn't to say that I support stereotypes, I just think it's important to admit that they often exist for a reason.)
I don't understand why it is a problem admitting that most stereotypes exist for a reason. The problem arises when people think that because there is a stereotype the stereotype must then be true for all members of a certain group.
Compare men and women (and by that I do not mean self-identified gender, I mean biological X and Y chromosomes). It's a physical fact that the average height of a man is taller than the average height of a woman. It does not mean all men are shorter than all women, it's just an undeniable biological fact. To me it's obvious that there might just as well be psychological and emotional differences between men and women, but if you say that out loud, suddenly you're an anti-feminist who's supporting the evil patriarchal society. It does not mean I think *all* women are a certain way, it does not mean that I think women are inferior, I just think that the average woman will be different from the average man. Just as the average man is stronger than the average woman, doesn't mean he's stronger than all women, the same way I think men and women, on average, have different emotional strengths and weaknesses. Recognizing that there is an over-all difference that some,but absolutely not all, fit into is vastly different from assuming ALL men and women fit into these molds.
Same with gay men and lesbians (or however else one identifies, or prefers not to identify at all). I consider myself a lesbian, and I believe this is how I was born. If it is genetic, or has do to with hormones in the womb, I have no idea, and I don't care, I just know who I am. And just as my height, and sexuality, and hair color, all were determined at my birth, I believe that a lot of my emotional,psychological etc. traits were also determined. I feel uncomfortable wearing a dress. That's a fact about me. I have no idea if this ties in with me being a lesbian or not. But there are two facts right there,I'm a lesbian and I don't like dresses. I also don't like make-up. If this is a product of my up-bringing, or something I was born with, I don't know either, but I knew I didn't like dresses long before I even knew what a lesbian was. If you find 100 self-identified lesbians at random, and 100 self-identified straight girls at random, chances are,more lesbians than straight girls will have an aversion to dresses. It doesn't mean all lesbians will hate them and all lesbians will like them. The problem doesn't lie in saying "a lot of lesbians dislike dresses", it lies in saying "oh, you don't like dresses, you must be a lesbian". Everyone has the freedom to act, dress, say, be, whoever and whatever they want to, and recognizing there is a stereotype does not give anyone the right to treat people as if it were true for everyone.
I believe there's a wide range across all dimensions of potential human beings, and that everyone is born with a loose frame within this grid of who they have the potential to be, and then your upbringing and interests will shape you within this frame (if you run 5 miles everyday, chances are you'll be a better runner than someone who watches TV5 hours a day - however, some people who watch TV 5 hours a day will still be great runners, because they're born with that physique). I believe that all people will be all over the entire range, but for a lot of groups of people (not all groups, again, being true for most does not equal being true for all) there will be a gathering somewhere within the grid where the frequency of these people is the highest.Maybe there's no correlation between lesbians and height (as they believed back in the 1920s), however, there might be a correlation between lesbians and preferences for pants over dresses.
The fact that I believe stereotypes exist for a reason does not mean I believe one has the right to treat people according to the stereotypes.But denying their existence only does us disservice, it would be like putting men and women in the same 100-meter races and then being surprised when out of 100 races, 99 of them were won my men. However,if a woman like Annika Sörenstam comes along and has the physical strength to play golf with the men, then by all means go ahead. I believe acknowledging that stereotypes exist can teach us things about ourselves as human beings, how we function, how we're created. It does not mean people should be treated according to the stereotypes.
LJ Bonus: Labels
Labels rock! Never use labels!
Basically; a lot of people feel comfortable referring to themselves by different labels, either because they feel accurately represented by the labels, or because they like belonging to a larger group of people like them, or by any other obscure reason. However, labelling someone else is an entirely different matter. People need to get over the desire to label everyone else as well. Other people are who they are, and only they can decide who they are. If you wanna label yourself, go ahead, feel free! (I certainly do, it's fun, and it fits.) But don't assume other people like it, and don't address them with labels before you know if they identify by them or not. Also, people being offended at being mis-addressed with the wrong labels need to get over themselves as well, assuming someone else goes by a particular label isn't particularly smart, but they could just be clueless because you hadn't deigned to inform them how you like to be addressed.
I don't understand why it is a problem admitting that most stereotypes exist for a reason. The problem arises when people think that because there is a stereotype the stereotype must then be true for all members of a certain group.
Compare men and women (and by that I do not mean self-identified gender, I mean biological X and Y chromosomes). It's a physical fact that the average height of a man is taller than the average height of a woman. It does not mean all men are shorter than all women, it's just an undeniable biological fact. To me it's obvious that there might just as well be psychological and emotional differences between men and women, but if you say that out loud, suddenly you're an anti-feminist who's supporting the evil patriarchal society. It does not mean I think *all* women are a certain way, it does not mean that I think women are inferior, I just think that the average woman will be different from the average man. Just as the average man is stronger than the average woman, doesn't mean he's stronger than all women, the same way I think men and women, on average, have different emotional strengths and weaknesses. Recognizing that there is an over-all difference that some,but absolutely not all, fit into is vastly different from assuming ALL men and women fit into these molds.
Same with gay men and lesbians (or however else one identifies, or prefers not to identify at all). I consider myself a lesbian, and I believe this is how I was born. If it is genetic, or has do to with hormones in the womb, I have no idea, and I don't care, I just know who I am. And just as my height, and sexuality, and hair color, all were determined at my birth, I believe that a lot of my emotional,psychological etc. traits were also determined. I feel uncomfortable wearing a dress. That's a fact about me. I have no idea if this ties in with me being a lesbian or not. But there are two facts right there,I'm a lesbian and I don't like dresses. I also don't like make-up. If this is a product of my up-bringing, or something I was born with, I don't know either, but I knew I didn't like dresses long before I even knew what a lesbian was. If you find 100 self-identified lesbians at random, and 100 self-identified straight girls at random, chances are,more lesbians than straight girls will have an aversion to dresses. It doesn't mean all lesbians will hate them and all lesbians will like them. The problem doesn't lie in saying "a lot of lesbians dislike dresses", it lies in saying "oh, you don't like dresses, you must be a lesbian". Everyone has the freedom to act, dress, say, be, whoever and whatever they want to, and recognizing there is a stereotype does not give anyone the right to treat people as if it were true for everyone.
I believe there's a wide range across all dimensions of potential human beings, and that everyone is born with a loose frame within this grid of who they have the potential to be, and then your upbringing and interests will shape you within this frame (if you run 5 miles everyday, chances are you'll be a better runner than someone who watches TV5 hours a day - however, some people who watch TV 5 hours a day will still be great runners, because they're born with that physique). I believe that all people will be all over the entire range, but for a lot of groups of people (not all groups, again, being true for most does not equal being true for all) there will be a gathering somewhere within the grid where the frequency of these people is the highest.Maybe there's no correlation between lesbians and height (as they believed back in the 1920s), however, there might be a correlation between lesbians and preferences for pants over dresses.
The fact that I believe stereotypes exist for a reason does not mean I believe one has the right to treat people according to the stereotypes.But denying their existence only does us disservice, it would be like putting men and women in the same 100-meter races and then being surprised when out of 100 races, 99 of them were won my men. However,if a woman like Annika Sörenstam comes along and has the physical strength to play golf with the men, then by all means go ahead. I believe acknowledging that stereotypes exist can teach us things about ourselves as human beings, how we function, how we're created. It does not mean people should be treated according to the stereotypes.
LJ Bonus: Labels
Labels rock! Never use labels!
Basically; a lot of people feel comfortable referring to themselves by different labels, either because they feel accurately represented by the labels, or because they like belonging to a larger group of people like them, or by any other obscure reason. However, labelling someone else is an entirely different matter. People need to get over the desire to label everyone else as well. Other people are who they are, and only they can decide who they are. If you wanna label yourself, go ahead, feel free! (I certainly do, it's fun, and it fits.) But don't assume other people like it, and don't address them with labels before you know if they identify by them or not. Also, people being offended at being mis-addressed with the wrong labels need to get over themselves as well, assuming someone else goes by a particular label isn't particularly smart, but they could just be clueless because you hadn't deigned to inform them how you like to be addressed.
nerdy
nobody cares