what may or may not be hard reality

So with fyca having cruelly abandoned me, I suppose I'll move my commentary over here...

The Vice President (who looks terribly scruffy and unkempt for such a relatively prominent man), two random boys, and the Chief of Security - our Leading Lesbian, are playing poker:

Random boy: "I see your dollar, and I'll raise you one..."
Leading Lesbian: "Oh, come on, I'm on a civil servants salary here, gimme a break..."
Random boy: "Tsk, Delaney, be a man..."
Leading Lesbian: "You first..."
VP & Random Boy #2: "Oooooooooh."

Hasn't any of these people ever flown before???? Never inflate your life-jacket until you've left the plane... or maybe protocol is different if you're on Air Force Two... Tsk. But you'd think you'd still be able to get stuck in doorways and get in people's way...

Also, you'd think the Air Force Two would have real seats with seatbelts in the even of  an un-planned landing

and I thought airplanes were supposed to float for up to three hours, or something like that in the event of a water landing

and just how the fuck did they get out of the airplane, it was approximately 150 meters below the surface, spiraling downward pretty fast. Oh well.

It's eerily reminiscent of a bad Xena episode (not that there is such a thing, you understand). They've even got wacky angles...

And also,
1) How do the bad guys know which dude to follow out of all the random wet people on the beach when they don't even know what's happened, and
2) why don't they shoot at Mariel Hemingway who's running around with a gun looking like she's about to fire back...

Don't hide in the cave, stupid. Caves generally only have one exit.

Awww... tending her wounded feet, and making her leaf shoes. Adorable. If this was a novel I'd be loving it... the thing is, in a book you can pace it yourself, if things are happening too fast for credibility, I'll just read slower... not so much possible with a movie.

Hmm, shame about them killing Murphy. Now, I'm not an expert on either drowning, or choking, but isn't there a bit of time between going limp and dying, they got to him pretty fast...

Heh. Mariel certainly is doing a Xena routine. The baby reporter is all sad and upset and vulerable and Mariel is all 'Uh. Here. Have an apple.'

Couldn't they have given Baby a not red shirt to wear while hiding in the jungle?? I saw them steal a whole armload of clothes.

Baby: *crying* "I k-k-k-killed them..."
Mariel: *confused* "Yeah. I know."
Baby: *more upset* "waah, waah, waah bla bla bla you hate me aaaaaaa!!"
Mariel: *kisses her*
Baby: "uh. ?."
Mariel: "How the hell else was I supposed to shut you up?"

What I never understood about forest movies is how they're never able to hide. I know forest, at least northern hemisphere type forest, which I'm told is way less thick and difficult than further south, and still, whenever someone is being chased they're constantly running. There are hiding places in forests. Go hide, stupid.

And I know it makes for better suspense, but just how is it that they're running running running, pursuing someone, and the chased is so far ahead they can't possibly see her while they're running, but sure as hell, whenever she stops to hide, the stop too, and look confused, like they had tabs on her before, when you very well know they didn't.

Mmmm, wet!Mariel.

Ooooooh. Nice finish with the spear-gun!

Hmm... So there was a note on IMDb about lesbian content having been edited out. Wonder which version I saw, because there really wasn't a whole lot of lesbian content. Two measly kisses, and the first was just to shut her up. That said, it's was an action piece, so all that much lesbian content can't really be expected.

Oooh. Another reason it would look like Xena, it's shot in New Zealand, around Auckland. Wasn't Xena shot out of Auckland, too? (Wonder how many of the bad guys were on Xena at some point, they looked kinda familiar... and it also explains why they all had NZ accents...)

My my my, tho, that is a *verry* good kiss at the end. After suffering through so many straight girl (and lesbian, for that matter) actresses who can't kiss worth a damn *cough*LWord*cough*, mmmm... this is a good one.

And that Mariel Hemingway, yum.

Jill Bennett (Baby) said in her interview with AfterEllen that when she had her natural blonde hair color she didn't get any parts because apparently she had a brunette's personality, and after she dyed it she got lots of jobs. And she does look good with dark hair. But it is a switch in general hair color to have the older ass-kicking lady be the blonde, and the smaller younger 'damsel in distress' be the brunette. It works out very well in this case tho, but personally (whatwith preferring older and brunette), the ass-kicking totally has the older blonde winning over brunette. Sorry, Jill. (much later edit-in: although I would like to point out that had I seen the We're Getting Nowhere vlogs first, I wouldn't even have noticed Mariel. How things can change over time...) MmmmMariel... I agree with Malinda Lo that Mariel's hair should have been shorter for more credibility, though. But who wants credibility? All we want is some girl-on-girl action...

I know the character's names aren't Baby and Mariel... it's actually Sharon and Delaney... but it seemed less important, somehow.

Over-all. Some crappy dialogue, but I liked the fight-scenes. Exactly what I expected, lots of jungle, and running in it, comfortably enough action, with some lesbian action on the side (could have been more of that, but I wasn't expecting there to be). Better chemistry between Baby and Mariel than I expected, which was nice. Mostly; Yay!! Lesbian Action Hero!! It's so far up my alley it's making itself tea and biscuits in my kitchen without having to ask permission. Yay!!